


The Battles of Before

by ravenyenn19



Category: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo, The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Angst, BAMF Inej Ghafa, Canon Compliant, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Kanej - Freeform, Love, POV Inej Ghafa, POV Kaz Brekker, Pre-Canon, Pre-Relationship, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-13 06:02:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29397375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravenyenn19/pseuds/ravenyenn19
Summary: Kaz and Inej before the start of SoC, as well as some looks at after Crooked Kingdom. This is mostly one shots that will have their timeline placement or whereabouts in the notes. They are all "related" but individual scenes or stories that lead up to the events of SoC or potentially right after CK. This is both a prequel to SoC and also to my own story "Dealing With Our Demons".
Relationships: Kaz Brekker & Inej Ghafa, Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa
Comments: 120
Kudos: 109





	1. The Click

**Author's Note:**

> SURPRISE! Okay, for any of you who have been reading my story "Dealing With Our Demons", this is my imagining on things leading up to SoC, as well as some scenes that take place after CK but before my own story begins. These will all be shorter, one shot type of scenes but I hope you love it! AH. I'm so excited to start sharing some of these with you all. Thank you thank you! 
> 
> Drop me a comment with what you think and if you'd like to see more!
> 
> PS: Our first scene is only a few days after Inej joins the Dregs.

KAZ

The sun was setting as he made his way back in the front door of the Slat. His leg had been decent today, mild autumn days tended to be one of the best times of year for his bad limb.

“Get it done?” Per Haskell was leaning against the door frame of his office as Kaz shut the front door behind him. Kaz rolled his eyes before he turned to the man.

“Yes, Sir. Blacktips shouldn’t be trying to encroach on that part of our turf for a good while now.” Kaz straightened his tie. He noticed a drop of blood on his shoes.

_Damnit. He’d almost been perfectly accurate with the splatter, keeping his clothing pristine._

“Good. That’s all.” Per Haskell took a swig from the bottle he was holding in his old mangled fingers. Kaz nodded and made his way up the first flight of stairs toward the attic. He had numbers to look over from the club, he had a parlay to plan. Work was piling up, he had a long night ahead of him yet. Kaz didn’t mind, he’d rather work than sleep on any night. Sleep felt like a waste of time when half the time he woke from nightmares anyhow.

Kaz was glad that no one had been present in the Slat outside of Rotty downstairs and Per Haskell in his office. Kaz was in no mood for pointless conversations, all he wanted was a stiff bourbon and the company of mathematics and schemes; his truest friends right alongside good old violence.

Kaz made it to the third floor landing and was about to climb the last flight of stairs to the fourth floor when he noticed lantern light marring the floor from the door to his left. It was open and he turned his head to find Inej- his new spider, cross legged on the ground of her new room, she was bent over the lock he’d given her to practice picking this morning. Kaz was about to ignore the girl but then he heard the click. The tumbler popped into place and the suli girl smiled to herself before she looked up to him- of course she’d known he was there.

She dropped the lock to the ground triumphantly, her dark eyes said “next”. Kaz didn’t know why he felt the urge to smile, something about the girl was… different. Her eyes always seemed to be looking toward the next challenge. He’d only known her about four days, but she was already picking locks.

_He didn’t need a useless spider, after all._

“Don’t be too proud. Took you all day.” Kaz rasped as he leaned most of his weight on his cane.

“No. That took me six minutes. The one you gave me this morning is on your desk, unlocked. I bought this one at the hardware shop for more practice. I bought three different kinds, I matched them to the types you mentioned when you spoke to me this morning. Thankfully, I didn’t have to try and read much kerch- only company names.” Inej said. The suli girl had spent her only money on locks.

_Kaz quirked his head. She had surprised him…. The lock was already on his desk. How? He kept his rooms locked, there was no way the girl could have cracked the locks on his door, he was the only one who could. Those locks were professional business, she’d take days to try and get in._

“Window.” Inej answered his unasked question.

_Surprised, again. It was strange. People usually did exactly as he predicted, but yet this girl had snuck up on him. Impressed him, almost._

“Don’t come in my window again unless you can crack the lock I put on it.” Kaz said in parting, he had a drawer full of locks. He’d put a more challenging one on the window tonight. If the spider could crack the lock, she could use his window to report to him from now on. It was easier, fitting. If the girl obtained secrets for him, then their meetings could remain private from the rest of the gang as well.

“See you tomorrow, Kaz.” Inej mumbled and he heard her pick up the lock pick kit once more from behind him.

_As Kaz made his way up the steps to the attic, he wondered if the girl- Inej- would end up being as useful of a spider as he hoped. He already knew she was dangerous, but was she daring?_

_Kaz would be lying if he said he wasn’t excited to find out. His lips quirked into a grin before he schooled his expression back into neutrality._


	2. A Proverb and A Wish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inej tells Kaz his first proverb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHH Hope you guys love this little piece- it's set about a week after Inej had joined the Dregs. It's kind of a special moment, at least in my opinion. 
> 
> Drop me a comment with what you think! Thank you so much!

INEJ

“What are you doing?” Kaz’s rasp came from the door to Inej’s room; she was sitting on her small cot, the trunk pulled in front of her as a makeshift desk. She had gone to the booksellers and picked up several novels, middle level, she’d also picked up parchment and a dictionary. She would teach herself how to read kerch, how to write it. Kaz had mentioned it was a severe necessity. Inej would not wait around to find someone to teach her, though she thought about asking the zemini boy, Jesper, she didn’t know anyone else here yet. Not really. There was the girl, Anika, who seemed about as interested in friendship as she would be in stepping in someone’s chewing gum.

Inej didn’t care. She wasn’t here for friends. She was here to work, she was here to… to try and find her pieces on the ground. Inej didn’t know who she was, now, but she wanted to be dangerous. She wanted to be a force to be reckoned with, the way Kaz seemed to think she could be.

Inej knew enough now about Kaz Brekker to know he did not care about who she was, only what she could do for him and the Dregs. Inej would prove herself useful.

At least here at the Slat, there was a lock on her door. A bed only big enough for herself. A window without bars. Here she could become invisible. Inej envied smoke more than anything; perhaps she’d become as much a phantom on the breeze as the smoke of a blown out candle. Inej thought that might be what she wanted most. Inej was tired of eyes appraising her. Tired of men and their twisted minds and cruel hearts.

_Kaz Brekker was twisted in a different way that brought Inej peace in the darkest parts of her soul, parts that had been born in between silk and tears._

“Learning.” Inej answered after a moment. The pen felt awkward in her hand as she tried to copy the strange curving of kerch lettering. Suli was much easier to pen, she decided.

“Learning?” Kaz rasped as he leaned against her door frame, his shadows heightened by the dim lamp light. She wished he’d leave. She wished he’d just let her start working, she’d been training for a week. Guns came first. She didn’t particularly like shooting, something about it was unnecessarily sloppy, loud. Guns were machinery and grinding parts and no fluid motion. Inej found she preferred the mornings she trained with a blade in her hand. Kaz seemed to agree, he’d told her she was a passable shot at best, but her accuracy with a blade seemed promising.

“I’m teaching myself to read. You don’t read suli, I don’t write kerch. So if I’m to fetch secrets, I’ll learn.” Inej answered as she crossed out the abysmal word she’d just tried to copy from the dictionary. It was spelled out “night” and she wrote something like “might”.

“You’re trying to teach yourself?” Kaz asked. Something in his voice made her look up, it almost sounded like surprise; but when she looked, his expression was unreadable. Kaz was just like that, all the time. Unreadable. Harsh lines and crisp cuts and crooked expressions. She’d yet to see him smile, only smirk. She wondered if his face knew how to smile, or if he’d just never tried at all.

“Paska chidi hai, paska ha freyu.” Inej responded absentmindedly as she looked back to the parchment before her.

“What the hell does that mean?” Kaz quipped with something like an exasperated sigh.

“It means ‘The bird walks before it learns to fly.’ It’s a proverb in my culture. One must take it a step at a time to be their best. You must work first before flying.” Inej mumbled, her own language on her tongue felt new again, but she loved that her culture had phrases such as this. They had shaped much of who Inej had grown into. This particular phrase worked here, Inej wanted to learn so she could be the best spider she could be. She’d pay off Per Haskell and her fucking indenture if it was the last thing she did.

“Tell me you don’t have more of those- what did you call them? Proverbs? Terribly annoying to speak in romanticized riddles, in my opinion.” Kaz glared. Inej took a glance to him and decided Kaz Brekker could not sway her from seeing things how she did, nor from using her proverbs.

“Don’t listen then. Your ears are not my responsibility.” Inej glared back and plucked her pen back up. Inej thought she heard a snort come from him, but she assumed she’d heard wrong. Kaz didn’t laugh. It was too human for the boy she’d heard referred to as “dirtyhands”. She’d heard it was because his hands were stained permanently red with blood he’d spilled. She’d heard he was deformed. Inej doubted it all, but she didn’t care if he wore leather or skin. Inej needed him to teach her, what his hands looked like was his business.

“Training. Seven bells.” Kaz said in parting and Inej nodded without looking up, but she swore she felt his eyes linger on her before he turned and she heard his cane on the steps moving toward the attic. She must have been wrong.

_Later, she’d wonder why he bothered to ask her what she was doing at all. Kaz was never anything but business. Kaz should have only stopped to tell her the time of her training. That’s what he did with everyone else._

_Later, she’d wonder why he’d lingered. Even if it had only been a moment, a short breath in the doorway._

Inej wondered what Kaz Brekker was made of beneath those fine tailored suits he wore to mock merchants. She wondered if he’d ever been human, did he care about anything? Did he even care about himself?

_Inej decided it might be interesting to find out. She probably never would, but he seemed as broken as she was. Perhaps Kaz Brekker would show her how to hold up her broken pieces in the form of an untouchable legend._

_Maybe, she too would have a name that struck fear deep into the hearts of men, someday._


	3. Shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Acrobatics in the Barrel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3!
> 
> Ahh so this is short but it's a scene I really wanted to write for you all. I think seeing Kaz's initial thoughts of Inej is so much fun, so I hope you love it! 
> 
> Thanks so much for the support, ya'll are the best. Drop me a comment with what you think! I love reading them and I'm trying to catch up and get back to everyone now :)

KAZ

He didn’t know why everyone was staring. There was a whole group of Dregs clustered at the front of the Slat as Kaz exited onto the street in front of the house in the dim early afternoon. The temperature was mild enough for early winter, the clouds their usual smog gray as hints of light peeked through the dreary overcast. Kaz noted Anika, Pim, Roeder and Rotty. Jesper. Along with one or two of Per Haskell’s older cronies.

“Why the fuck are we all standing here?” Kaz rasped as he shut the door behind him and carefully moved around the traffic jam of human bodies. He noticed they were all looking up.

“The new girl is strange.” Jesper laughed and Kaz followed his gaze up to the building beside the Slat, where his new spider, Inej, was standing on her hands on the edge of the roof. She did not sway, she held her handstand, toes pointed easily to the air. Kaz paused at the sight, she was so near the edge of the roof, if the blasted girl fell-

“She climbed up there without so much as a foothold beyond slightly jutted bricks. Faster than I’ve ever seen anyone get to a rooftop. Fucking crazy.” Jesper shook his head, iron eyes tilted upward still.

Kaz didn’t answer him and the entranced dregs gave him a wide berth as he moved past them. Once he got to the sidewalk, Kaz turned.

“Don’t you all have places to be? Stop standing around like pigeons and get the fuck back to work.” Kaz’s voice grated and he let his annoyance flare as he gripped the head of his cane in a show of promised verbal beatings or worse. The Dregs scattered immediately, save for Jesper, who seemed more than content to ignore Kaz entirely.

“She’s going to be a storm in this city, I feel it. Like when it’s going to rain.” Jesper mumbled, seemingly more to himself than Kaz.

_Kaz felt it too. The girl was dangerous. He’d felt it when they practiced with blades, she picked up on the dance of death far faster than even he had when he first joined the Dregs as a boy. She was silent, always. Only spoke when necessary, or when she desired to, which was not often. Most of their training was silent, save for when Kaz corrected her stance or chastised her for dropping an elbow._

“Get to the Club, make sure the place is ready for a new round of tourists tonight, a ship arrived from Noyvi Zem yesterday, let’s make sure the pigeons leave with their feathers thoroughly plucked.” Kaz said sternly in parting as he left the sharpshooter still standing in front of the house. Kaz walked down the sidewalk until he stood in front of the building where Inej had been doing her handstand, she was no longer on the corner of the roof.

_Something inside him prickled, a jolt of electricity told him to turn toward the alleyway between the building and the Slat._

_Inej slid down a drainpipe, just around the corner. He’d not been wrong; his body had alerted him that she was near. Strange._

“What was that?” Kaz said to her back, she was clad in all black. If he were any other man, he’d dare say the suli girl was striking. Chocolate eyes and deep bronze skin. Long black hair and a lithe form for acrobatics.

_He was not any other man._

_She was still something to behold, though. Kaz shook the thoughts from his head immediately. He didn’t need to notice, she was an asset to the Dregs, that’s it._

“Practice.” Inej said quietly as she brushed a strand of hair behind her ear that had escaped the coil at the base of her neck.

“For what? Acrobatics are not useful here, Inej.” Kaz leaned against the brick wall and dusted a piece of lint from the shoulder of his coat.

“Not true. My core needs to be at its best if I’m to traverse the rooftops, I will strengthen it to what it was before I was-” The girl’s mouth shut and she shook her head to some thought. Kaz imagined it had to do with her enslavement, she’d been bought and sold like cattle.

_Kaz hadn’t expected anger to rise in his chest at the thought._

“Well don’t do it out in the open again, it attracts attention. Stick to the shadows. This isn’t a damned show; you need to be invisible.” Kaz said and he could have sworn that Inej flinched under his slightly raised tone.

_He didn’t like that. Noted. No raised voice with the spider. He didn’t know why he cared, there was no reason he should change his demeanor to suit her. He filed it away as a better working relationship, nothing more._

Kaz nodded sharply in a motion for her to follow him. He was taking her to the market sector today, he wanted her to see where most of the weapons the Dregs acquired were from, so if she chose, she could begin collecting her own arsenal.

As Kaz turned and began walking back down the alleyway, he could have sworn he heard her whisper to herself in a broken tone.

“I already am invisible. I’m a ghost.”

Something inside Kaz railed. Inej was not invisible. Not to him. He hadn’t liked how Rotty and Jesper and Pim had marveled at her form on the rooftop.

Inej was to be shadow, smoke in the corner of their enemies’ eyes.

Inej was light to Kaz, though. He didn’t know where the thought came from. He shut the thought down and walked faster. His shoulders eased when he sensed her close behind him.

_His shadow seemed darker on the cobblestone sidewalk, as if the light radiated from bronze skin behind him- not from the sun at all._


	4. Dangerous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inej finds her claws.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4!
> 
> AHHH. I loved writing this one, you guys have no idea. I can't say much more than that, hope you love it! Thanks for all the support, you all mean the world to me. 
> 
> Drop me a comment with what you think! If you've left a comment and I haven't gotten back, I promise I will! It's just been a hell of a week. Thank you for your patience. <3

INEJ

“Thank you for the blade.” Inej said softly as she met Kaz in the alleyway behind the Slat for training that morning. The sun was actually out, the sky clearer than she’d ever seen in Ketterdam. Inej was relishing in it, it took conscious effort not to turn her face to the sky every few seconds. She’d promised herself that she would train with Kaz and then she would practice the rooftops, even this evening.

_If she could see the stars, maybe everything would be alright. Maybe she’d finally believe she was out of the Menagerie. It had been a week, a week since Kaz Brekker had led her out of that awful gilded palace of sins and true horror. He’d left her a knife on her bed this morning. Inej liked it, the comforting weight of a blade in her hand. She felt like maybe she could fight off the demons that plagued her sleep, maybe, someday, she’d even be able to face them. Deal with her demons._

For a brief moment, Inej thought a smile danced on Kaz’s lips, but it was gone before she could squint her eyes against the sun.

“Means nothing unless you know how to use it. We’ve practiced with light and dull blades so far. See if you can take me down and get that blade somewhere to make a strike.” Kaz pushed off the brick wall and leaned his cane against the bricks. He shrugged off his blazer and hooked it over the head of his cane. Inej didn’t know why she bothered to notice the way he rolled his sleeves up to his elbows. His skin was pale, the crow and cup tattoo displayed on his forearm. Inej wondered when she’d have to take the tattoo; she knew now that every member of the Dregs took the mark. It proved that the wearer of the mark had the protection of the gang, that to mess with a crow and cup risked the ire of Dirtyhands and the Dregs. She itched absentmindedly at the feather tattoo on her own arm. She was going to get it off. She had to. She hated that blasted mark on her skin.

Inej shook off the thoughts and took up a defensive stance, the blade sheathed at her side in a leather sling she’d found in the Dregs weapons closet. She’d need a better sheath for her blade, she decided. It was too loose; the blade could fall out if she climbed at the wrong angle.

“Left foot needs to be posed lighter, like this.” Kaz showed his foot work and Inej chastised herself internally for forgetting. Kaz had shown her this stance before, she needed to get it down.

_They circled each other in the narrow alleyway, like planets in a violent dance for the right to be closer to the sun._

_Inej noticed that Kaz’s leg seemed less stiff, perhaps the warm autumn day helped. She didn’t know why she cared. The thought cost her. Kaz struck the air with a hidden blade he’d seemingly produced from thin air. Inej barely blocked it._

“Sloppy, Inej.” Kaz clicked his tongue and Inej felt a flicker of rage inside her long dormant heart. She would not make the same mistake twice.

Inej circled wider, her fingers delicately touching the hilt of her new blade. As she circled, she sent prayers to the Saints.

_Let me fight the way you would, with the strength and grace of a native of the sky. Lend me your will through this blade, guide me true._

Kaz’s eyes reminded her of a shark stalking a lame fish in the True Sea. Beautiful, somehow. Dangerous, reckless, yet calculated. She couldn’t begin to guess his thoughts, Kaz Brekker was unreadable. She knew he intended it that way, somehow. He didn’t want a single person to be able to see the inside of him. She wondered why as she neared closer to the brick wall.

She had an idea for when Kaz struck next. It was nothing Kaz had taught her, it was a calculated risk that may not pay off in the slightest.

Kaz struck for her left flank, Inej jumped, her bare foot catching the jutted brick she’d spied before even making it to this side of the alleyway. She kicked off the wall and landed on the opposite side of Kaz, blade pressed into his right side, had she wanted to, it would have gone through his ribs, straight to his lung.

Kaz froze and Inej dropped the blade, it clattered to the ground and the noise ricocheted off the brick walls in a cry of lost purpose.

Inej stared to the ground as Kaz turned around. She didn’t know where her thoughts had come from, she didn’t know when she’d begun searching for the best way to fell a man, to mortally wound him.

_Had it started the day the slavers had taken her? Had it been in the silk sheets of the Menagerie? Had it been when Kaz called her dangerous? Had it been the moment she’d found the blade on her bed?_

“Excellent.” Kaz muttered, something akin to pride laced his word. Inej didn’t know why she looked up.

_Kaz Brekker offered a small smile, her breath hitched in her throat. It was not something unusual, for a master to smile when their protégé beat them. It was unusual for the devil himself to grin when a blade imbued with the strength of the Saints nearly killed him. Yet, the Devil grinned a crooked thing, dark eyes glinting in the morning sun._

_Inej Ghafa felt dangerous for the first time. Her smile then was a cat’s grin. The Lynx had claws indeed._


	5. Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A phantom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5!
> 
> This one is super short, but it's a big deal. In my opinion, I suppose. It's special, the first time Kaz thinks something crucial about Inej. I don't know, anyways, I just hope you guys love it! Thank you so much for reading and supporting- you're all the best! 
> 
> Let me know what you think in the comments!

KAZ

The window clicked open. Inej slipped onto the sill and entered the attic silently, bringing copious amounts of rain water with her.

“Don’t drip everywhere.” Kaz said in greeting, his eyes looked up, for some reason. Traitorous bastards, his eye balls. Inej was in all black again, her hair was drenched. She’d climbed the exterior of the Slat in the downpour?

“Let me just write the Saint’s a strongly worded letter about how you wish me to be dry and to stop the rain.” Inej grumbled and he swore he could hear her eyes roll. Saints? The girl was religious. Interesting.

“Let me know their response, I’d be interested to know how false deities fair with penmanship.” Kaz rasped. He didn’t know why the joke had escaped his lips, he hadn’t planned on it.

Inej huffed a breath that he thought could have been in amusement.

“Just you wait, Mr. Brekker. I doubt even you could pick the lock to the afterlife.” Inej mumbled. She dropped a file on his desk. It had been her first mission, a very simple one. Easy, by all counts. Though, it should have taken her hours yet. She was to enter the target’s house after he and his family were asleep. She needed to lift the information Kaz had requested from the desk in the mark’s study. He had already scoped the house he’d sent her to, the mercher in question didn’t even lock his desk. Inej had needed only to slip in unnoticed after picking the lock on the back door.

_He glanced at his time piece, it was only seven and a half bells in the evening. There was no way the mercher and his family had gone to bed. How had Inej entered the house so early? He expected her back no earlier than ten or eleven bells._

“Back so early?” Kaz asked as he flipped open the file. She’d gotten the right one. Clearly, the past two weeks of teaching herself to read had given her enough insight to read the label on the file correctly.

“I went in through the window while they had dinner. It was buried under the rest of his work, but I suspect I got the right folder. He never goes back to his office after dinner, the file won’t be missed. Same as if I’d waited.” Inej shrugged and leaned her hip against the window sill, her eyes on the raindrops sliding down the pane.

Now, Kaz Brekker was impressed. The house she’d been sent to was four stories high, like the Slat, but made of wood, not brick. How she’d managed that climb in the rain, with slick boarding beneath her and not footholds, Kaz had no idea. Spider, indeed. How had she known the man never went back to his office after dinner? Kaz had known that, because he’d spied on the house previously. But Inej had no way of knowing, unless…

“I scoped it since you mentioned the target in the meeting with Anika two days ago. I wanted a head start in case you let me start working. I wanted the job.” Inej answered his question again before he’d asked. How did she do that?

_Kaz felt suddenly flustered. No one thought as fast as him, ever. No one guessed what he’d say before he actually spoke the words. Inej Ghafa had._

_Kaz didn’t like the feeling. He didn’t hate it, either._

“Will that be all?” Inej whispered, he noticed one of her hands had raised, as if to trace the path of a rain drop on the outside of the window, but she dropped her hand the second she must have felt his eyes on her.

_Why did he wish she hadn’t? Why did he look, anyways? He normally didn’t even look up from his desk when anyone else came in the room. Never had a reason to, his ears worked fine enough. His eyes had other tasks. He shook off the thoughts and looked back to the numbers he had in front of him._

“That’s all.” Kaz motioned with a wrist to the door of the attic. When he heard no response, he looked back up.

To his surprise, Inej was already gone. She’d left through the window without waiting for his dismissal. Inej needed no doors, Kaz realized. She also needed no dismissal.

_Rain drops on the window sill were the only evidence that she’d actually been there, that she hadn’t been a phantom, a wraith, on the winds of his imagination._


	6. I Wish I Were Different

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaz remembers who he was, once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 6!
> 
> Hey everyone! Sorry, I know it's been like a week since I updated this story but life has been crazy! Forgive me? Anyways, I hope you all love this one! honestly it might be my favorite in this prequel yet- it's also longer than the others. Not as long as DWOD chapters, but longer for this story. Seriously, I always wanted to know how this scene went, so I decided to write it for you all. Hope you love it! 
> 
> Thank you to each and every one of you for reading and supporting both this story and Dealing With Our Demons. You all mean the world to me. <3 
> 
> Drop me a comment with what you think! I seriously can't wait for you guys to read this one. 
> 
> "Angels Like You" by Miley Cyrus. (I think you'll get why I listed a song for this one once you read.)

KAZ

“Woo! Who’s headed to the Club?” Jesper was chirping from beside Kaz. They’d taken down an entire group of Razorgulls who’d thought it’d be wise to try and pluck pigeons on the Dregs stretch of the harbor. The streets were quiet in front of the exchange, it was three bells in the morning, Kaz noted as he glanced to the clock tower. Early for the Barrel. Kaz would not go to the Club tonight, he had plenty of work on his desk at the Slat. Nor did he long for comradery. No one would dare invite him, he’d let his glares speak his answer often enough in the past.

Kaz hadn’t expected a fight tonight, he’d expected a less bloody affair, not that he was complaining. Kaz was annoyed, the fight had done little to quell his rage with the fucking Razorgulls.

Kaz heard Rotty and Big Bolliger jump at the chance for a round of victory drinks at the Crow Club. Kaz knew Anika and Pim were probably already on their way there from the Slat. It meant the house would be mostly quiet tonight, Kaz’s preferred state of existence.

Kaz straightened his tie and used a handkerchief to wipe a small spot of some anonymous Razorgull’s blood from his wrist where his shirt had been pushed up in the midst of action. He knew there had been snipers. Not a shot had been fired from above, which meant the men had been disposed of. He suspected there had only been one, maybe two. The Razorgulls were both boar headed with bravery and decidedly stupid. Kaz flicked his gaze to the roof of the exchange beside them, but he didn’t feel Inej’s presence.

_He wasn’t sure how he was able to sense her, but it seemed he always could tell when she was nearby. It had started after she’d managed to sneak up on him in the Menagerie. She had not snuck up on him since._

It had been a little over a month since Inej had joined the Dregs, this was only her second job that involved any sort of conflict, the other missions he’d sent her on had been for reconnaissance only. He wondered if she’d killed the snipers quickly, or if she’d simply let them beg. He had no idea, but she had to have killed them. If she hadn’t… there would be a problem. Her job was to take no mercy tonight; it was to teach their rival gang a lesson. Kaz and the rest of them had certainly stayed true to his plan. No mercy was given. Four new bodies lined the bottom of the canal. Only one man had been released, with a broken hand and dislocated shoulder, in order to send a message to the Razorgulls’ leader.

“Where’s the spider?” Jesper asked Kaz now. Kaz hadn’t realized the zemini was still lingering and not walking toward the Club with the rest of them. Kaz didn’t know why Jesper was unafraid to hang around, but Kaz had stopped caring. The sharpshooter was a useful asset to the Dregs, and not as annoying as Kaz would have thought- even with his ridiculous choices in fashion and personality.

_Kaz didn’t have friends, nor did he want them. But if he had to choose a second in almost every fight, it would be Jesper Fahey._

“Not sure. She did her job, I suppose.” Kaz shrugged as he flicked up his cane, he’d need to clean it of blood once he returned to the Slat. Another slight against him from the Razorgulls- messy blood spatter.

“But if she took down a sniper, how the hell did she move the body? The girl might be strong but from a rooftop? I doubt it.” Jesper mused, his fingers tapping anxiously at his revolvers hanging from his belt. Kaz contemplated, Jesper had a point. Kaz had not considered it- Inej was small. Perfect for spidering, but carrying men that were twice her size and only deadweight? Kaz doubted even she could accomplish the feat from the rooftops without falling.

_Without falling? What if she’d fallen? What if she was dead and that’s why he didn’t sense her? Kaz hadn’t expected his stomach to flip in anxiety._

_She was useful, that was all. If she died it would be more than annoying. He’d have her indenture inn his own name, then. Per Haskell would never let him live it down. That was why his stomach flipped, nothing more._

_But was she alright?_

“I’ll find her. Go to the Club.” Kaz rasped without a look back to Jesper as he rounded the alley of the exchange, where Inej would have most likely used a storm drain to shimmy down. Kaz noticed immediately that there was streaks of now drying blood on the brick near the storm drain. Then he noticed drag marks. Kaz followed the trail to the edge of the canal. He broke a bonelight from his pocket, the light luminescence lit up the edge of the canal, it was not particularly deep here, but deep enough to obscure a corpse and murky enough not to be seen in the daylight. Sure enough, a corpse lined the canal floor, weighed down with bricks, by the look of it. A man and a long sniper rifle. No further sign that Inej had been here. He assumed she’d decided to go on her way, maybe to the club. He’d not seen her there, but it seemed she was warming up to Jesper in their meetings for jobs. He’d seen her smile at the sharpshooter. Kaz didn’t know why he noticed.

Kaz made note to tell Inej not to let there be streaks of blood left in her wake. Not that it wasn’t common in Ketterdam, but he’d rather not have to break out of Hellgate should the Stadwatch ever manage to catch on. Something else stirred in Kaz’s chest, then. Inej had done it. She’d done her job exquisitely; she’d even gotten the body off the roof. Kaz had no idea how.

Kaz was proud of the suli girl. She’d taken to her new role quickly, without hesitation. Kaz hadn’t ever been… he didn’t think he’d ever been proud of anyone but himself. He threw the thought aside and labeled it simply as he was training the spider himself, and therefore of course he was proud to see Inej take her training into action, nothing more.

_Inej Ghafa was an investment he’d made. Now he was seeing the fruits of his gamble ripen._

Some small voice inside him said “you lie to yourself”. He quieted that voice with the flick of his cane as he began walking down the cloudy streets toward the Slat, already making a list of tasks he’d need to finish before the night was through. He probably would skip sleep entirely tonight. Too much to do.

_He also made a list of things he’d still teach Inej regarding blade work and hand to hand combat. He didn’t know why he focused on that list much more than the first._

Not half a bell later, Kaz entered the Slat, not surprised to find it mostly abandoned, save for Per Haskell and his cronies drinking and playing cards in the ground floor office. He could tell they were at least a bottle deep based on the obnoxious snorting and laughter coming from the cracked door. Kaz did not stop to report to the leader of the Dregs. Per Haskell wouldn’t remember speaking with Kaz in the morning, anyhow. Kaz hated repeating himself, so he would not.

_Drunken idiots. Though, Kaz did appreciate a stiff bourbon. He’d have a glass when he made it to the attic, his own form of celebration._

Kaz was halfway to the third floor landing when he heard it. Soft sobs, muffled by a pillow. Kaz froze on the stairs, he didn’t think there had been anyone else in the house. He took a look back down the stairs over his shoulder. No one else was here, no one else had heard. Kaz took another step up. There were a few rooms on the third floor, but he couldn’t be bothered to remember who slept where in the Slat. He knew Anika’s room, Jesper’s room, Rotty and Pim shared the only other room on the bottom floor besides Per Haskell’s office. He also knew Inej’s room was on… oh. Inej’s room was here, right above him on the third floor.

Kaz took the remaining steps up to the third floor landing. He was going to turn to the flight of stairs to his attic when he heard small sniffles.

His heart hammered in his chest. Why? He didn’t know.

It was because it was Inej who was crying. She hadn’t gone out to celebrate. She hadn’t gone her own way. She was here in the Slat, door shut and… crying. Kaz didn’t like it, he hated the sound of her sobs. He felt his hands itch in the temptation of violence. Was she hurt? Did she need a medic? Why had he stopped? It was none of his concern.

_Kaz should ignore Inej’s tears. Walk upstairs, forget whatever had made him pause outside her door with a gloved hand poised to knock. He dropped his hand, in the end._

“Forgive me, Saints. I have killed. I have killed. I have killed.” Inej’s soft whisper carried to Kaz in the hallway through the thin walls of her room and the cracks of her old door. Each word sounded broken, as if her ribs had collapsed under the weight of each syllable.

_Kaz felt like someone had punched him in the gut. His breath hitched in his throat. For a moment, he hated himself. For a moment, he wanted to enter the room and tell her to pack her things, that he’d book her passage away from Kerch forever, to wherever it was that she wanted to go._

_It had been seven years since Rietveld had swam to the surface of the harbor, but Rietveld took a gasping breath of air on the third floor landing of the Slat, his breath in tandem with a suli girl on the other side of a door._

Kaz backed away from the door, silently. She hadn’t heard him come up the stairs, that much he knew. Kaz turned to the stairs of the attic once more, shaken to his core. Where had the thoughts come from?

_He was Dirtyhands, a new plague on the streets of Ketterdam. A legend. A monster. Dirtyhands had no room for sentiment, no room for Rietveld._

_Rietveld began to drift farther from shore again, but Kaz swore he heard his other half scream. Scream for him to help the girl._

In the end, Kaz Brekker sat on the bottom step of the flight of steps toward the attic; he sat there until Inej’s breathing was even with sleep on the other side of the door separating them. He stayed.

Kaz Brekker stayed until the door in the foyer of the Slat opened hours later, signaling the return of Jesper and the others.

_No one would ever know that the Devil wished to wipe away the Saint’s tears._


End file.
